wildspirit's Cancer Blog
July 25, 2008
| Having a bad week | Views: 557 |
I’m having a bad week and just needed to write about it. I’ve had 2 chemo treatments and next Wednesday will be my 3rd treatment.
The reason this week and especially the last few days have been so bad is because I have been feeling really crummy. Last time the week before my 2nd chemo treatment I felt really good, but this time is different. I had one really good day that I had energy, was in a great mood, etc., and that was last Sunday and it’s been going down hill ever since.
I’m depressed, emotional, fatigued (I guess that’s what it is, I have no energy, no ambition, no nothing). I have my pre-chemo appt on Tuesday to get my blood work done. I’m curious to see how that turns out . . . . maybe my red blood cell count is way down and that’s why I’m feeling like this?
All I know is that I do NOT like it! It’s taking everything I have to do things to keep my mind off of it and to try and keep busy. Not physical things, but computer work, checking the flowers in my yard, spending time with my horses, etc. The rest of the time I just want to go to bed.
I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’m having some difficulties in my personal family life and of course I’m taking things really serious and really personal, so that doesn’t help.
I know I’m going to be fine, but I just needed to write about it. That always helps me with whatever I’m going through in life . . . .to write about it.
Angel, if you read this I’m curious to how you are feeling. You may be having or just had your 3rd treatment as you are just a little ahead of me. I know your first one was rough and you were in the hospital . . . I’m curious how you felt after your second treatment.
Well, thanks everyone who reads this.
Hugs,
Wendy
07.30.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
My second treatment was different than the first. I had the nulasta shot the day after my second treatment which kept me from becoming neutropenic but the bone pain was pretty rough and lasted about four days, I am always in a fog and really fatigued for day 5, 6 and 7. Then I slowly begin to feel better. After treatment #2 I also was nausea up until two days before treatment #3 which was yesterday. If yu would like you can email me at Angelwthwingz@comcast.net.
Blessings
I don’t now anything about chemo, but I do know that when I get bummed I love to spend time with my horses too. Keep in mind my “horses” are wrapped in steel with rubber hooves but I still feed them and pet them and clean their stalls…..
Family can be tough. I found that since my cancer I have no patience for petty, or silly issues. I have to force myself to remember that I am one who changed attitudes.
Be blessed and remember “this too shall pass”
Hugz
Mac
Fatigue was the worst part for me so I’ll give you my advice: put your health first above anyone else’s “problems”. Just rest and don’t feel guilty if you can’t do anything else. The worst I ever felt was because I had overdone it one weekend——traveling, not eating regularly, spending too much time in the sun, and not getting enough water. I paid for it, believe me. There’s nothing that will make the fatigue go away so just go with it and know it will get better. And of course, stay in touch with your doctor should you feel really bad.
Hang in there and I’m thinking about you!
Wendy,
I’m a one year survivor, but remember chemo well. I wasn’t one of the “lucky” ones who sailed through it. I had a few friends who didn’t have trouble with chemo and went about their lives without skipping a beat. They still went to work, took care of the house, etc. I felt good with the first two chemo treatments, but by the time I had my third chemo, it hit me pretty hard. I was so fatigued – a tired like no other tired I can describe. My doctor finally prescribed steroids. I hated taking them, but they at least gave me the stamina to get out of bed and get my girls off to school. I drank a lot of Ensure drinks. I stopped tasting food – but for some reason the Ensures were something that tasted good. I hope that things are better for you today. Good luck and keep us all posted!
I want to thank everyone who has responded to my post. I really appreciate your experiences, advice and kind words.
The week before my second chemo I felt so good . . . I remember going in for my 2nd pre-chemo visit and I was so perky and everything was great. My third chemo is scheduled for next Wednesday and right now I feel like I’m going to have to drag myself in there!
Last weekend I did feel really good, Fri, Sat & Sun. Sunday I did some yard work, not a big deal . . a little mowing, weed eating and watering…it felt great to do it. Monday and maybe Tuesday were ok and it’s gone down hill from there.
I just didn’t think it would hit so hard after just 2 chemo treatments. But then again what do I know !
I’ve also heard some people breeze through it and others don’t. I just didn’t think of myself as one of the “don’t”!
I work on my computer ALL the time and at times during the last couple of days it’s all I could do to sit here any longer . . .I just had to go lay in bed.
This is just not good, I can’t hardly imagine going through several more months of this!
Also, something that is weird, at least I think so, is that my breast where I got the lumpectomy has been hurting me pretty good the last several days.
Thanks again everyone for all your comments!
Wendy
Wendy,
I have been read your profile and posts and I loved your pics, you are a beautiful woman and those horses are amazing. I understand only too well how personal issues can affect your ability to deal with your major health conerns and at times you can forgeeet what your body really needs. I have been divorced for 22 yrs, I have lost my family so it’s just myself and my now 3 young adult children all in their 20’s and pursuing their young adult lives. So, with an empty nest, I am reaxaming my life as to what is store for me in this next chapter. My youngest, Laura just grauduated from college in April and I was so happy for the plan was to secure a teaching position in our hometown. But, during her student teaching with HS students at 2 different school districts she encountered some problems with some students that was taking this class for a second time, and was only there probably because their parents made them but they truly gave her a hard time. I guess they thought hey, she’s just a student teacher, what do I care. But, it made her make a decision not to pursue teaching HS student but to apply to Graduate School. I am very proud of her achievements for she graduated Summa Cum Latta, (the highest honors) she is an amazing young woman that is focused, independent, secure and has just been accpetd to the University of South Florida in ST. Petersburg. Which either by coincidence or what I had been taking my children to that area almost every years since they were in diapers. So, with my best friend and the major support in that she always has been there holding my hand through each & every bone marrow biopsy, while she put her Ipod in my ears. She’s so strong.I will be needing to more than a empty nest for she has to be at school August 25. My BD is the 29th and she told me she wanted me to come down but I’ll have to run that one pass my onc. You have support here and if you ever need to vent I am a great reader, don’t type real well, especially @ 5am but you get the idea. Patty
Dear Wendy; It’s amazing the response to your post about chemo. I am learning constantly about so many things. I am so curious that I am not taking chemo. You and another girl had the same diagnosis as me but I only had the 26 radiation treatments and hormonal therapy. Not sure why but up here in Canada the Dr’s, or atleast my Oncologists don’t aspire to chemo unless absolutely necessary. They know the ravages and side effects so they are on the side of caution when dealing with such potent chemicals. I only hope they are right in not prescibing chemo. Sounds funny but I think we have all been brainwashed into thinking do whatever it takes to rid me of this cancer. Now I am second guessing their decision. I’m sorry you are feeling so punk (old fashinoned expression), because it is not very inspiring to carry on with the next treatment knowing you might feel just as crummy (another oldie). Whatever you can do to avoid emotional stress would be my best advice. If you feel like telling someone to take a break from their totally selfish needs, I would do that. You have the right to your own personal space for which you are paying dearly. They don’t have your shoe size and until they do, just get them to back off. It’s one thing to feel under the weather (god I have to stop with the old expressions), but for god’s sake people, family, friends, co workers or whoever need a reality check. I know get a bunch of chemo phamplets from the hospital and hand them to everyone who is bugging you. That would be my response. Ignorance is bliss so enlighten them and get them off of the bliss ride. Take care. Weezie
Hi Weezie,
Thank you for writing! I don’t mind the old expressions as I use them a lot myself.
One big difference between you and me and the other gal on here who is taking chemo, is that we (me and her) could NOT do hormone therapy. Our cancer is not hormone related (that’s the best way I know how to put it), so the next option is chemo.
In the beginning I was only going to have a lumpectomy and 6 weeks of radiation, but the tumor turned out a little bigger than they first thought so chemo was suggested.
I’ve learned that many different factors help to determine what treatment is best for each person . . . and whether hormones or other things are involved, make a big difference.
And I do remember saying “I don’t HAVE to do chemo” . . . they suggested it, but I could have said no. But the positive percentages were big enough in my case that I chose to go through with it.
I just had my 3rd treatment last week, I should write a new post but haven’t been feeling very well.
Thank you again for writing! I really appreciate it.
Wendy